The year 2020 has brought a lot of pain to me, and really to us all so far, from the wildfires in Australia that started the year, to the pandemic, to the police brutality and civil unrest we are seeing now. And while it is easy to be upset about these things, and they are things we should be upset about, I hope that we can all work towards a better future. I hope we can bring new growth and positive change into our lives. I am trying to work on the ways I can be a better, more understanding and empathetic human being to those around me, by understanding my own privilege, by doing what I can to fight injustice, and by doing what I can to make the world a better place in general by getting more involved in my community and taking real stock of the trash I am producing and harm I am doing to the environment. I am making a vow to try and bring about new growth and positive growth in my own life, which I hope will ripple out into your lives as well.
As a symbol of that, I thought I would share a small project I did over the weekend. (If you follow me on Instagram, you may have already seen this. If you don’t, you should 🙂 For months now, I have had three empty coffee cans sitting on a bookshelf in my living room. One of them had three seed packets inside, and if you did a little snooping around my apartment, you would find a bag of potting soil in my hall closet. I had emptied the coffee cans, poked holes in the bottom for drainage, and bought the seeds and potting soil in early February with the idea of creating a small herb garden near the window sill of our apartment. But just a week or two after I bought the seeds and soil, I got the text message my father sent right before he killed himself, right after he killed my mother. The idea of doing anything but just merely getting through each day after that flew out the window.
So the empty coffee cans and the seeds and soil sat for months. And even when my Facebook friends began posting about their seeds sprouting as they sat at home bored under shelter at home guidelines; I still did not have the heart to go back to the seeds. It reminded me too much of the “normal” life I was living before my parents died.
But this past weekend, something clicked. I decided I needed something green growing, something new and hopeful, in my home. So I planted the seeds. And each day, I do something simple by watering my cilantro, parsley, and basil seeds, but this act is inherently hopeful. I am preparing for a future I don’t know will come. I water the dirt each day with the hope that in a couple weeks, something living will sprout up. And right now, in this year of upheaval, I think we all have seeds that need planting. We all need to water the soil, even before we can see the green shoots of our plant. And maybe even if these seeds don’t take, we might even need to go get more seeds and do more research on how best to take care of them. And maybe those seeds are something small or maybe they’re something big, something monumental even, but regardless of the circumstance, we all need to plant our seeds. We all need to work towards a future that is better for ALL of us, to have hope that a future like that is possible.